I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
