We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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