While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize