also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
