Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize