Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
