there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
