you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
