Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
