batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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