I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
