you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
