just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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