glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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