The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize