yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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