Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
