Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Come on in and take your pants off
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