She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
