dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
