And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
her facebook's as public as her vagina
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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