I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
this beer tastes like vomit already
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
did you just send me my own nude
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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