Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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