Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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