Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
