He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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