I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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