Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
