Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
