No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
