You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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