the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
