a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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