She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
