Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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