like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
