I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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