smell my finger.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
