i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
