according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
