I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize