I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
did i walk over a car last night?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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