...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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