My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
