guys are not supposed to queef...right?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just gift wrapped bread.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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