Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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