im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize