i was born a porn star she said
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
