Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
