Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Someone signed my nipple.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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