you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
