Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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