mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
