I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
