what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
