One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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