I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
