it was like eating out sand paper
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
