if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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