How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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