You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
