I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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